i forget the damn thing is here

...and maybe i shouldn't care, maybe not. maybe i should be rambling again for lack of any other worthwhile writing. now i turn out a mean business letter nowadays and get paid for it but that is so i can rent a roof over my head and maybe buy a car that doesn't break down in the middle of intersections and supermarket parking lots.


my dad is sick,,,saved me so many times,,,can't get into it here,,,this entry is too stupid,,,but pray for him if you don't think praying is too weird,,,it does work,,,i assure you,,,

none of us actually get any better. we live in older and older bodies, and try to cope with it the best we can. some days are better than others, some months and some years. i am trying to be good to mine as best i can, i have work i want to finish in my life and some things i want to share. i want to spend some time living in the past and some time meeting new people. i want to have intense, worthwhile experiences with others. i want to spend more time in nature. i don't want to spend too much time on the stupid diversions that society offers us so we will shut up and not pay attention to anything important.

i want to be aware and care about where i am and who i know, i want to still feel deeply about people that i don't know and will never know. i want to keep feeling like i need to do a better job not wasting my life and my time.

i hope i have time to be productive and do good work in my life. p.s....................i like strange, random things. i hope i don't run out of them.

so on that note...

damn stuff on the internet

now i just wrote a heartfelt post about my friend trina and the damn thing is gone.

i'm sorry trina, i hope you are still alive. i think of you all the time, in the city, sober or not sober. i loved you.

i understand it is thundering and lightening and raining rain in san francisco. bad night to be out on the streets.

damn stuff you find on the internet
like this blog
god help the poor person who knows me running into this.
hello friend. here is my uncensored mind.
you know i believe in god and try to be a good person. i pray all the time in my own way. usually always in the shower. and at my desk at work.
yes, i work.
i live almost normally now.

so friends who googled my name and found this blog hello, how are you. welcome.
enjoy your stay here and lose yourself in my weird dream journal stuff

i'll try to keep it uncensored but my sex life stuff and my obsessions, i don't know. read what you want. i guess i should be grateful you care. people are short on time, they don't have much time for other people's thoughts. so if you are interested in mine then thank you.